The Simple Plot of Metal Gear Solid
Metal Gear Solid
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2 minutes 46 seconds
Last update : 2021-1-13 0:53:50
Metal Gear Solid
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Hello, and welcome back to another episode of
'Talking Video Games.'
We continue today in our series of games with simple plots.
please introduce yourselves and tell us the plots of your games
I'm de chef from Burger Time!
I make -a- de burgers!
Hello, I'm Centipede.
I just kinda move down the screen
Hey, I'm Snake from Metal Gear Solid.
My game's got a pretty simple story...
Snake, I don't see your name on the list...
Ah, my friend Cloud Strife
told me to come on this show and talk about it...
Oh god, no...
It was the distant future, 2005
All I wanted to do was chill out and retire
But genetically enhanced renegades named Foxhound
Stole a bunch of nukes and had shit on lockdown
Okay we're past our time limit, Snake!
Colonel Campbell said I had to infiltrate
Before they start a nuclear conflict
What a bunch of jerks!
You're a bag of dicks
I climbed through an air vent and saved two guys
They shared top secrets and suddenly died
Of two heart attacks right out of thin air
All within five minutes!
Oh my god, I don't care!
Then I met Meryl, a hot box of rocks
And I fought a gunslinger named Ocelot
But a cyborg ninja cut his hand away
You know, normal shit that happens every day
Listen, Snake, there must've been a mistake
On this show, you've got to get right to the point of the game
Like the ship from Galaga
Hi, I shoot stuff in space
And this car from Pole Position
I'm a car!
You know we've been through this before
with your boy Cloud Strife
And he talked so long I contemplated ending my life
So let's keep things nice and simple
like the hero over there
From the Atari game Adventure
I'm literally just a yellow square!
I tried really hard to find a mech named Rex
And the ninja came back in the mix like Chex
It was Gray Fox and I fought Vulcan Raven
A big motherfuckin' Alaskan shaman
I killed that guy but before he died
He said Meryl liked me, I almost cried
She's a little hottie pants, ooh-meow!
It would be so great if you died right now
I killed Sniper Wolf who was absurdly hot
And then murdered three guys and an evil robot
'Til Liquid Snake and I were left alone
He said that I was his brother and a superior clone
Then he died of a virus and thinking fast
Meryl saved us
I don't give a frog's fat ass
Then when stayed together until the seven year itch
And now you know the simple plot of Metal Gear, bitch!
Listen Snake I've taken all I can take
Just because a game is simple
doesn't mean that it's lame
Tell the kid from Paperboy
Yo, I deliver those papes!
The guy from Elevator Action
Why can't I just have a single panel of guests
Who can say their plots in forty fuckin' minutes or less?
Now just watch me Snake
before you make me reach for my gun
I'll summarize your game and show you
how this shit is really motherfuckin' done!
How it's motherfuckin' done!
You sneak around and save the world.
My god, can I get a replacement guest with a simple plot please?
Hi, I'm Sora from Kingdom Hearts!
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